Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
