if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Randomize
