I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
