in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
