Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
