so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
