i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
