You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
