You just made me feel so damn special
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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