My brain says no but my pants say off.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
