one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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