im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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