nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
