I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
