I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
