They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
this boner is exhausting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
