WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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