Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
