If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
