I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
