What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
