Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
