We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
