why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize