I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
