He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
