u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
