I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
