maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
