Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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