things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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