found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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