Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
