Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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