I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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