Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
