I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize