I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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