You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
