She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
