those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
