i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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