Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im holly from the hills drunk
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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