so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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