I would go down on you faster than GM stock
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
