problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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