i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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