my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
