its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
