How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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