i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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