I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
