We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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