Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You are a genius and a whore.
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