Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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