i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
