Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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