I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
