I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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