do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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