OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
