Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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